Coming soon – Cooters!
Casino solves turtle problem
Anti-casino forces were heartened by reports that a rare turtle occupies the site of the proposed Mashpee Wampanoag casino proposed for Middleboro Massachusetts.
Anti-casino elation was cut short when Tribal spokesman Scott Fearsome outlined the tribes plans to deal with this bump on the road toward the casino – which we all know is inevitable.
Cooters anyone?
Fearsome explained the problem and solution in terms that anyone could understand:
Ode to the red-bellied cooter
Cooters restaurant will be styled after the popular “Hooters” chain but with a twist. The waitresses uniforms will consist of turtle shell tops similar in concept to the shells adorning the bosoms of the legendary mermaid. These shells will come from actual red-bellied cooters killed by the construction of the Mashpee Wampanoag Resort Casino.
The restaurant will be festooned with attractive coasters with the inspirational environmental slogan “Save Cooters”. The restaurant will also feature turtle soup, souvenir turtle shell ashtrays – which will come in very hand since smoking is allowed in the facility. Children will be able to purchase exciting teenage mutant ninja cooter costumes.
This inspiring solution to a vexing problem is truly an example of casino developers doing it right.
Anti-casino forces were heartened by reports that a rare turtle occupies the site of the proposed Mashpee Wampanoag casino proposed for Middleboro Massachusetts.
Cooters restaurant will be styled after the popular “Hooters” chain but with a twist. The waitresses uniforms will consist of turtle shell tops similar in concept to the shells adorning the bosoms of the legendary mermaid. These shells will come from actual red-bellied cooters killed by the construction of the Mashpee Wampanoag Resort Casino.
Jinkies, Bumpkin! Now they’re going to have to pay you for the copyrights!
But hey, you might want to consider adding a massive stained glass Cooter centerpeice to the middle of the restaurant – you know, to give it some more credibility. (Not to mention to show some respect for the dead…)
Up until this one you were doing awsome.
Joking in this way is not your style, LOL!
Leave that stuff to Gladys she is a lot better.
Your better sticking to your serious style.
Just my observation.
Keep up the good work.
Mrlimo
Aww,, Mr. Limo – just when I was calling for more respect between pro and con you have to go and launch this unprovoked vicious attack – a new low in the casino debate.
I’m hurt.
And kidding.
How about my “Davey Jones Attacks Middleboro” ? that was funny.
I’ve polled all my pro-casino friends and they all think I’m funny. Please.. please tell me I’m funny.
Bumpkin….your funny!
I am sure that Stinkerbell Fearsome will also explain how Cooters will be built green…keeping up with that respect for the dead theme and all.
Thanks carverchick – See Mr. Limo.
Put that in your casino and smoke it.
Now that Scott sure comes up with some great ideas! You just gotta hand it to him!
Well, we don’t know what you gotta hand to him, but ……
Anyone know anything about the bobcat that was hit on route 44 in Carver? Is this their habitat?
Very Funny indeed. On a serious note. The Wetland protection act calls for a 100 yard buffer zone around wetlands mapped for endangered species. Since the casino site is largely wetland, how are the investors going to pay their way, oops…. I mean pave their way around this one??
I hear Glenn Marshall and Stinkerbelle are reviving an aincent Wampanoag war dance called the “Turtle Stomp”.
anonymous,
you bring up a good point…I could be wrong here, but I thought the buffer in this State was 150 feet.
If the land gets put into trust wouldn’t the classification of “Wetlands” be forgotten just like the Red Belly Cooter?
Scott
Who was responsible for finding the cooters in the first place?
From the Philly Playbook. sugarhouse Casino they had the same problem. If any cooters are found they have to be moved to a livable site.
Construction cannnot disturb breeding.
DEP will watch over construction phases to ensure federal guide lines are followed.
Our little friends and fish bait will be protected.
The current natural heritage map online doesn’t include the casino land as endangered habitat. All around it is mapped. This could be a ploy designed by casino backers and their supporters (the globe) to take our eyes off other issues. Be carefull!! They are getting desperate.
To MrLimo
Are the Wampanoags going to move the turtles to Mashpee?
Anon are you suggesting this is a hoax?
But Mr Limo…what about the water willow stem borer? That moth is considered “threatened” and is located on the proposed casino — I think it might be more difficult to find, catch and relocate moths. Much harder say, than turtles or pink elephants.